Time for Reform -Whastyle

This article by Agent Orange got me fired up and thinking. So here it goes. At one time there was a pseudo joke of Wha-Nobrainer 2020-something. By that time we will both be of age to run the show. After the article I have our director of homeland security pegged, especially considering his fmaily proximty and experience with 9/11 events. I think the platform will be something like the following with regards to brief comments on each issue. Granted, a few of our issues will be split, but hey, I think it makes for a better TEAM. He'll appear to more of hte libertarian feel, I got the traditional rebuplican thing downand relate to Joe Average pretty well with many of my shananigans that I will talk freely about. A little personlaity will help politics, Kept Clinton in for 8 years. Need a Republican rebuttle to that. Without further adoo:

Immigration - Get them the hell out. They cross, without papers, shoot 'em. They keep crawling, shoot 'em again. Citizens of the United States have, for the most part, less NYC ethnic gang wars ala recent movies, accepted immigrants from foreign countries with open arms. At one time, most went through formal processes, bothered to learn at least chunks of the language, and brought a little spice that makes this country great. I'm all for allowing others to come here and make a better life. In one way or another, all our families are here for the very same reason. I just ask that they do it right. If you can't play by the rules, we throw your cheatin ass out of the game. No one likes a cheater, they will not be tolerated.

Welfare/Social Security - Scrap it. Spend a fraction of the funds educating people how to save their cash for later on, or at least how to put it to work. Oh and work, yeah, if your other family members aren't supporting you, get a job. Got kids? Fine, we'll sponsor day schools. If your income is below a set amount, you will pay a fractional amount. They will be staffed by others who need jobs as well. It may not be as good as what the CEO's kids go to but your kid will be fine and may actually learn to get along with others. And you won't have a need for food stamps or the ability to say that childcare costs more than you can make. We'll even cut you some slack and hook you up for 6 mo in the case a loved one passes that has been supporting the family. After that you better hope the insurance was paid up or you haven't been sitting on your ass, cause those checks will quit coming.

Defense and International Relations - Screw with us or our allies and we will whoop your ass. We will sell our cool stuff to our friends but only after we have developed new super secret cool stuff to kick you ass even more. Stuff not even Discovery Channel knows about. It will be like Reagan and Star Wars again. Saw it on a movie, liked it, Northup Grumman, go build it. Have your people protest against us all you want, don't expect us to do business with you. You will learn that the protesting is a losing situation for you only. We are resilient for a relatively young country and our true grit only really comes out when you force it. Don't force it, you won't like the result. If you are a candy ass, say you want to verbally back us, then don't. We cut ties with you. Liars are looked upon about the same as cheaters. You will be tossed out of our game. I'm pretty sure Britian and Australia like us. So do some other places that know where their bread is buttered so to speak. Yeah, Wal Mart won't be as cheap, but no one really likes going there anyway. Oh, and all the industry we outsourced, we'll need it back. All you folks bitching about not being able to work, jobs, their baaaacccckkkk! So welfare becomes a moot point anyway.

Healthcare - Yeah, we need a program, honestly. I'm not saying everyone gets everything for free but everyone will get an alotment. We don't have welfare or Social Secuirty to fund anyway so there is some cash in the coffers. Children under 10 and foggies over 70 get more than the middle age folks. If you are that age and sick, it's because you didn't take care of yourself. You also have the abilty to work, so paying for your fees over the alotment shouldn't be a problem anyway. Insurance will still be an option too, so don't sweat too hard. Yeah and the fee/alotment thing, you want better care, fork over the dough. I'm not sending you to Duke on the countries dime, Carolinas Medical is just fine. The difference is on you. This one will need more thought and tweaking I'm sure.

Alternate Energy -
Solar is a pretty good idea. I think Arizona and California have lots of sunny spots that no one lives in or even visits for the beauty. They would make good places to make up some juice. I like wind and hydro too. We have lots of running water and the last time I checked there was always a breeze near the coast. I think we know what New Orleans will be good for now? Mardi Gras at the Windmill farm...woo hoo. Yeha, west TX, you fit the bill too along with all you places in the mid/southwest where you have oil dericks. Keep pumping but we are going to strap a few pin wheels to towers on your land and double up the energy your plot is producing. Never fear, you'll get pair, utilities will remain private and they will have to buy/lease the land and provide the equipment. Oh, and there is this thing called Nuclear. If you stick them in mountains the bad stuff can't get out. So much for that danger.

Tax Reform -
Flat tax. You don't make a lot, that sucks. You make a ton, good for you. We need the same percentage regardless. hey, it's all ratios so the rich will be paying more, don't worry. Most of these loop holes will be crap canned, both personal and business. John Kerry won't get to pay $50 while you and I pay $500 because he has some screwy situational clause to apply for being a reformed hippy. After Defense and Healthcare, we won't need a whole lot anyway. Just some cash for funding travling arts groups to promote some poignant liberal activities as well as museums and park systems. Some of that stuff is cool and shouldn't be just for the wealthy. Make their asses stand in line every now and then for the good tickets too. It's governemnt run, so the point is only to approach breaking even on expenses, and not like the pro sports do with ticket prices. We'll figure this one out too.

Government -
Most of us will have to go get real jobs. one way or another. Pres capped at two terms. House Members and Senators at four. No more ability to to raise your own salary or benefits. It's a set amount, more if you chair a committee. Adjusted for inflation based on economic indicators only. Part of your pay is the honor of serving your country if you didn't do so in the military. By the way, if you work hard and show leadership, I'm pretty sure our thriving industry will want to hire you. If you suck and dont really do anything, welcome back to the real world. My local Wal-Mart needs another cashier in a bad way, especially Sunday afternoons. Get your crap together and do something productive or learn how to use the scanner in a hurry.

Abortion- I'm against it but I'm not you and it's your child. You make the call. If babies daddy is against having it and you want to keep it, you have two options, place for adoption, or don't expect him to have to pay. This only kicks it at time of conception. You can't "get out" after the first tri-mester fellas. It takes two to tango, both get to shoulder the responsibility and decision making. Rape and sexual assault cases are differnt for obvious reason, all up to the mother, she never was afforded the decision in these cases.

Gun Control -
You can have as many as you want. You must register them just in case you do something stupid later. Committed a heinous crime or are a sex offender? You forfeited your right to carry one. Quit your bithcin'. If everyone has the ability to pack, then I don't think messing with them is agreat idea. Your IQ small enough to think it's a good idea? I hope they shoot your ass because they can. It will always be self defense, the lawyers won't have time to do your case, see below

Lawyers and Judges-
Quotas will be placed on how many can practice in a county in a particular field. They also won't be able to pass legislation as congressmen regarding redistricting or incorporation to "shrink and multiply" the municipalties that they are restricted within. They will be forced to work on cases that are legit not frivolous stuff because of milited hours in a day. Better hope the existing ones find your case interesting, otherwise, you won't be going to court unless you can manage to represent yourself. Judges will lay down sentences. Parol for causing death of any kind will not be tolerated. You get 10 yrs or two retrials to prove you were innocent. Doesn't happen and you are in for life, your life ends. More cash for the system to run properly and support the arts and education. I think $30K is much better spent on motivating our teachers than supporting a crack addicted in prison who killed a child with a stray bullett, or for that matter, a drunk driver who killed anyone else in the accident.

Education-
Haven't run the numbers but I see we axed Welfare, Social Security and took a big chunk out of fleeced government expenditures and law system. All the rest goes to Education. Budget surpluses equal bonues both to high perfomring classrooms and ones that have shown marked improvement. I see lots and lots of money going here. Oh, and no teacher gets tenure. It's now run like private business. Our product is educated youth. Failing to make a good product is like not making shareholder profit. You are sinking your company, which in this case is the country.

I think that about sums up my ideas for tonight. If you like it, spread it around. If you don't, too bad, don't vote for me/us. After writing this, there will definitely be points Nobrainer disagrees on. If so, he can bail whenever and run on his own ticket, I understand. This is what I would like to see so if he does take a different overall approach I'm looking for other running mates.

That'll piss ya off

I've spent the last 9 years using the same calculator. Not just any calculator either. None of this sissy TI-85 crap, no an HP-48GX with expandable memory capacity that sucks down triple a batteries like a kids juice box. This thing had expandable that existed before anyone really knew what it meant and could be programmed for stuff I still can't fathom doing. Most importantly, if entered properly, it could convert any measurement from SI to Imperial units in a few quick key strokes. Many folks went through a couple in college due to the rough and tumble abuse of that lifestyle but mine was fortunateto make it as well as most of my first four years out of school. How I don't know as the damn thing kicked out some messed up numbers and was thrown a couple times. However, it was often given due credit as the one thing most attriutable to graduation. As I pulled it out for work Friday morning and to extreme dismay, the screen was inner cell was cracked and a blob of mystery fluid/plasma was covering most of the screen. Though the internal operations still appear to operate and it can be used for basic output, the full usefulness has been compromised. I am extremely upset as you can tell. Those outside the realm of Clemson Engineering between '95 and '03 may not understand and I don't expect them to. Classes changed, pencils broke, and computers crashed but the HP and it's reverse polar notation was always there with an annoying beep when you performed an action not allowed (adding two number when only one had been entered for example). The calculator had even brought a reputation here as when it was broken out smart comments abounded. My biggest concern? Going back to a regular calculator or heaven forbid, an adding machine that works like neither a standard calculator nor the machine I have so well bonded with. A little liquor will be poured out in it's memory this week. It may have happened Friday night, but I don't think anyone can remeber honoring it.

WHAtch out o'er thur!

As many know and most of this readership, or at least respondents know, this weeknd forces of the Clemson world between '96 and'03 collide in Chucktown to celebrate the right of passage to honeydoodum for one Mr. Benjamin Louis Heilmann ('01, '03) of Raleigh, NC. Yeah, I am prepping this shit for Clemson World publication. Granted the actual ceremony isn't for two more months and the activities in the next 72 hours could constitute revokation of acceptance on his bride to be's behalf we are gathering to give him one last breath of true single manhood. It will be ugly, the dreaded ball and chain will be slapped on tight and done at an early hour. Much Jager and Red Bull will be consumed, a golf course will be abused by some, bars will regret the party of 12, and a strippers ass may get slapped all in good, somewhat clean, fun. Hell, Carn may even put a down payment on a family, again. This occurence, as a whole, has been planned in some form or fashion since this fall. The soon to be Misses knows what is going to ensure and has faith in her future husband. A warranted faith I may add as it's the group that scares the hell out of me. Thousands of miles will be traveled for the party to assemble and most do not expect to see the light of day until after the noon hour on Saturday. I'm sure edited versions of the weekend will crop out in the realms of the Agent, Funk, Nobrainer, back here and within comments elsewhere. If all goes as planned this will be a weekend that stories and legends are born. I just hope no one has to lie to Best Buy when it's all over about why their computer shorted out. Stay tuned kids, this could get interesting come Sunday.

Got a song

but I ain't got no melody. I got a blog button but I got no clue how to use it. Any suggestions? Somedays I am even more stupid than the rest. It looks kinda nifty but I don't know how to display it or link it to toher for display. It's like having a big ding dong but not having a place to stick it. I know all about the second part but not the first. Fun stuff.

I Fell Off

I fell off, I fell the fuck off. The wagon of course. Did you expect anything else from me? Just like any other Lent fasting, I never quite pull it off or have some loop hole like last year with no soft drinks (except for class purposes when I needed the kick). Anyway, things were and have been going well, less last Saturday. Did a little grilling, had a few brews, felt good, having a goodtime out and about and the dreaded Yeager Bomb was offered up. We had even taken a cab out to ensure minimalized stupidity, typically brought on by Jack's peer pressure. Well, upon surveying some fine female specimens and have unusually warm weather, we decided it was true party night and we weren't missing that boat. Bring 'em on, we'll repent later. Well, one turned into four plus beer chasers and what we were going through anyway. At least mixed drinks were never brought into the picture. With Patty's Day and the Hyman smack around, I mean bachelor party, I hope to hold strong. In true NCAA tourney form though, I only truly expect to go .500 on this prediction. I predict that if anything gets me, it will be the Car Bombs this week as I plan to be coherent in my abuse of Hug-a-bunch next weekend. By the way, if the guantlet hadn't been thrown down previously in his direction, it has been now. I think I'll go buy a lock this weekend.


Update: It has come to my attention that the Lent thing was ammended. We reverted back to no Jack during the 6 weeks as that was the original intent. Other alcohol is on. With that being said, if you have anything resembling an Irish Car Bomb ingredient near you this weekend, hide it. This is also applicable to vodka and cranberries prior to noon next weekend and Yeagerr bombs at any point. That is all.

Wha

Not Good

Most of us have been able to enjoy a rather pleasant life over the past few months. We fuss about work or something annoying like the delivery boy but nothing truly significant. Unfortunately for one of us in this little blog world, that changed this morning.
I just received a call from Paul (this is serious and not warrantling blog names) with some very bad news. Stacy (whom he has been dating seriously since the A&M game) lost her mom to cancer. She was in surgery this morning and her heart gave out and the doctors were unable to revive her. She has been battling lung and possibly other forms (I'm not eaxctly sure on this part) for many months. Things would go very well then a new complication would pop up. I even asked Paul this morning before work how things were going and foundout she was going back into surgery today. I didn't think a whole lot about it as this has not been completely uncommon in her fight and she has seemed to always come through just fine.
I ask that you keep Stacy, her family, and even Paul in your minds over the coming days. I know the family is losing a wonderful person. Having gotten to know Stacy over the past 6 months, she is one of the nicest, most well meaning people I have met. I can only think that the apple didn't fall from the tree in this respect, especially listening to the things Paul said about her mother and about how they had "clicked."
This has been a battle Paul has been helping Stacy with, having suffered through the same thing prior to college. Having also had a family member fight a battle with cancer, as well as having a close coworker done the same, it makes you count your blessings, and realize how fortuante many of us are to have our families, especially those who have been sick in the past.
Please keep Stacy and Paul in your thoughts.

The Wagon

Well, Fat Tuesday has come and gone, in a blur of course. Each of us in the apartment gave up on alcohol of some form or fashion. Skippy dropped liquor and beer, Poot and I dropped liquor, so no Jack. With my imminent move, and the multiple bottle of partially drank alcohol, the herd had to be thinned. No use tempting fate by having multiple options around. The quest to break last years Jack record has long since lost hope without the re-emergence of Sunday grilling. With that being said we threw the gauntlet down to see how many partial bottles could be finished off. Note none of these bottles were close to full but none were exactly struggling to fill it's last glass when we started. Those who fell included a handle of Jack, a 5th of Gentlemen Jack, a 5th of Disarrono, and a 5th of Crown. A run was made late at the 5th of Smirnoff blue label that was only half full to start the night but it has a solid drink or two left and I left most of a screwdriver on the table when I threw in the towel. All in all, we brought back flashes of glory and put the smack down on the liquor cabinet. Oh yeah, Skippy had a couple beers and a glass of the Disarrono, too.
If work doesn't ease up, I won't stay on this wagon long. Not unless someone finds a quick connection to an East Coast stash of Fat Tire. That could hold me over for 6 weeks without much problem.