You can take Reality TV and..

well, if that reality TV is "Dirty Jobs", put it on the damn TV more. I find this show to be a damn riot. Tonight's episodes included Mike Rowe (the host) on location at a Monkey Refuge while he is supposed to be off the South African coast filming something for shark week. Apparently they have Spider Monkey's at this place and lots of them. It makes the line from Talledega Nights about coming at Chip like a Spider Monkey extremely relevant not that it wasn't funny anyway. The other episode he was chipping hardened concrete from teh inside of a mixer truck with a jack hammer. This is a hilarious show as they only bleep the comments and don't completely edit out those parts. It gives you a true understanding of the pure hell that many of them all. Be glad you are sitting behind your desk at work reading this and if you haven't tuned in, do it soon.

D.L.

No, I don't have any juicy gossip of fun conquests for the readers out there to keep quiet amoungst themselves. Sorry to disappoint but half of you would have received celebratory phone calls on that anyway. This is pertinent to my last post about the moron and the softball game from last week.
After hobbling around in a cheap-o brace that provided little actual support last week, watching teh swelling hardly subside, and more than likely tweaking it while buzzed with customers at a conference in the mountains the end of the week, I finally went to the doctor. The hell with the the family doc, I hooked up with the Ortho guys immediately. Sweet talking the receptionist for an appt the morning of the phone call was easily my biggest accomplishment here. Doc checked it out, thoroughly, took some x-rays, saidI had a sprained MCL, gave me a Robo-Cop brace and said take it easy for the next two weeks. If no improvement between now and then, an MRI would be in my future to check out possible tearing though he felt that was unlikely. So, I'm on the DL. The brace is pretty nice though and provides a lot of support but is a a bitch to get off as bending the knee that far is not exactly comfortable. Golf is still in the cards for Sunday. Hopefully enough progress will be made by then and the brace will keep that from being an issue. Football season could be humorous though as I will be sporting this thing at the first tailgate. I may be "That guy" in khakis and rainbows just to cover it up and prevent any cool knee brace tans. Until it comes off though, I think I may try and play it off, espcially considering I have a good sympathy story togo with it. Unfortuantely Poot and company lost the championship game I couldn't play in. It had little to do with my not catching and a lot more to do with our good pitcher not being on the mound and the backup getting shelled past the teams ability to score. Oh well. My days of fastpitch are probably over as I think I will stick to the slowpitch leagues and try and get on a co-ed team. I doubt any 120lb chics will be trying to break my leg...or at least I hope not.

In the News

I'm sitting at my desk today responding to way too many emails mainly because it hurts to walk. Last time I checked going for the catchers knees neither constitutes a slide in the traditional since of avoiding a tag and scoring nor is it "running over the catcher" where you put a shoulder into their chest or shoulder in hopes to knock the ball away. It seems more like an "I'm a dumb ass and don't know what I am doing" or an "I'm a prick who takes adult softball way to seriously" move. At least he went out with what one can hope is a concussion. Now I understand we all want to win when we play. Guilty as charged right here. Guess I am more pissed off than anything. It hurts to walk as mentioned and not being quite the youngster anymore I have a gut feeling whatever is wrong with my knee isn't going to be healed up anytime soon. I'm just a terrible injured/sick person more than anything and get mad about it.

Well, now that you know why I am sitting here reading the news and replying to the morning email barrage, this is what I have come across. Is anyone really surprised? Is it really news? I can't believe (read in sarcasm so thick you need a steak knife) that people who actually made the effort to relocate themselves are fairing so much better than those who sat on their butts only to get stranded atop houses that weren't swept away. You can use all the excuses you want about these same people being far worse off beforehand, etc, etc, but that doesn’t mean you can't make a change. Things sucked where you were, you got moved whether by your own accord or someone else’s and now you are some place new which means maybe you can at least attempt a new start is it really any big shock?

In another story, unrelated but in the same lumped headline section there is apparently a charm school for men where you spend a nice chunk of coin to learn to approach women, initiate and hold conversation, and read their subtleties. They through you to the wolves after doing some teaching then the following morning the group comes back together for a debriefing. Oh yeah, and utilizing the affects of alcohol is minimalized though bars are used in the trial runs along with bookstores and other social places. Classes are in NYC, LA, San Fran, London, and Sydney AU. Great in theory but can John Doe function back in his normal environment knowing no-one there is grading his efforts other than the two buddies he hangs out with weekly that are in the same rut? I have my doubts. I am guessing the removal of heavy alcohol would alleviate some problems for a lot of guys out and about. That and women actually using body languages and gestures somewhere in between simply moving hair behind their ear and grabbing a guys crotch.

Sunday Night Quicky

Yeah, so I spent both Thursday and Saturday nights at Poot's due to excessive alcohol. Stellar performance as you can tell. It can't/won't happen this week though as I am in the mountains Thursday night through Saturday for a conference. As you may have read over at the gnomes page, the beach held some of it's expectations. I guess that is it for now. Nothing big to report. No block buster ideas or deep thoughts and no antics that are unexpected or trumps to previous events or Nobrainers protected post. Football season is less than three weeks from now though so you folks know what that means. I am setting a couple goals though. First: To make all games other than FSU. Tickets are either set up or easily obtained for all the remainder other than Va Tech. Second: I will not "take a nap" in the Jeep or deface any of Peppinoes serving wear now will I do these acts in any other vehicles or locations. I plan to have my first "clean" Clemson football season. could be interesting, I just hope there are no Fun Bobby reprocussions from the plan.

Redneck Riviera

Due to a NC Hospital Engineer Association Conference I will be in Myrtle Beach next Monday, tuesday and Wednesday night. Fortunately I will only be "working" about 3-4 hours each day. Unfortunately, I won't be down there with anyone I know to hang out the rest of the time. The bossman will be there Monday and leaving after the expo hours at 2. I havea room so if anyone decides they want a dayor two off to hit the beach or a golf course, let me know. I'll have my sticks. I don't plan on hitting any of the fun locations (Master's Club) but if I get bored enough I may have no other choice.